When I first thought about the idea of quitting alcohol, it didn’t seem like a choice I was allowed to make. I hadn’t hit rock bottom, and I certainly didn’t consider myself an “alcoholic”—a term I associated with needing to reach a certain threshold of struggle before you could claim sobriety as a legitimate path. The belief I didn’t even realise I was carrying was that sobriety was for people who needed to stop drinking. And since I didn’t see myself that way, I stayed stuck in a cycle that I now recognize was slowly killing me, even if it wasn’t obvious on the surface.
Like many of us, I had internalised the idea that only people who couldn’t handle their drinking needed to stop. If you asked me at the time, I would have confidently described myself as a “normal” drinker. But even though I told myself I was fine, I had a nagging feeling that alcohol was impacting my life more than I wanted to admit. Still, the idea of quitting felt too drastic, too “final.” I’d grown up in a world where drinking was woven into the fabric of everyday life, where nights out, holidays, celebrations, and even stressful workdays were all expected to include a drink. Giving it up felt like overkill.
The “Not Bad Enough” Trap
I remember trying to negotiate with myself. “My drinking isn’t that bad,” I’d think. “I don’t need to give it up completely.” But looking back, I can see that this belief kept me in a loop. I was stuck between wanting to drink less and convincing myself that I didn’t really need to. This mindset, that “my drinking wasn’t bad enough,” kept me from facing the fact that alcohol had a strong grip on me, even if I could still hold it together on the outside.
It was life-changing to realise that sobriety wasn’t just for people who fit a particular label. Sobriety was a choice I could make for myself, even if I didn’t have some catastrophic reason for quitting. Once I started to open my mind to that idea, everything shifted. I began to see the ways alcohol was actually limiting my life and weighing me down. And the more I explored this path, the clearer it became: sobriety could be for anybody.
Realising Sobriety Is for Everyone
It was freeing to realise that I didn’t have to reach a certain “rock bottom” or fit into a specific category to choose sobriety. When I stopped focusing on whether or not my drinking was “bad enough” and instead started asking myself, “Is alcohol adding anything meaningful to my life?” the answer became clear. Alcohol had been a way to numb, escape, and cope with the day-to-day stresses and anxieties, but it was holding me back from experiencing life fully.
The most surprising part of this journey was that once I made the decision to stop drinking, I started to notice benefits almost immediately. My sleep improved, my mind felt clearer, and my mood started to level out in a way I hadn’t experienced in years. These benefits weren’t exclusive to people who identified as alcoholics; they were available to anyone who chose to remove alcohol from their life.
Releasing the Label of “Alcoholic”
One of the biggest hurdles I had to overcome was letting go of the fear of labels. I hadn’t realised it, but I’d been avoiding the possibility of sobriety because I didn’t want to identify as an alcoholic. That term carried so much weight for me. But through my journey, I came to understand that the label didn’t matter as much as the reality of my life. Sobriety was helping me live a better, fuller life—why should it matter if I didn’t “need” it by traditional standards?
I started to see sobriety as an empowering choice, rather than a punishment for people who couldn’t control themselves. Choosing sobriety, even if I didn’t fit into a specific label, meant taking control of my life, my health, and my happiness. I wasn’t deprived; I was empowered. This shift in mindset allowed me to stop worrying about labels and start focusing on what was best for me.
Breaking Free from a Harmful Cycle
In hindsight, I can see how the belief that “I wasn’t bad enough” had kept me from seeing just how much alcohol was impacting my life. I was able to function—sure. But functioning isn’t thriving. That subtle but persistent cycle—of drinking, feeling low, deciding to cut back, only to end up drinking again—was keeping me stuck. And it was only when I chose sobriety without the need for a label that I truly began to feel free.
As I moved further into my journey, I noticed that I wasn’t alone. Many people feel the pull to quit or cut back, yet hesitate because they don’t see themselves in the stories of rock bottoms or interventions. But there’s power in redefining sobriety as something that can enhance anyone’s life, not just a “solution” for those who feel they’re at the end of their rope.
Choosing Sobriety as a Lifestyle
For me, sobriety has become a lifestyle choice rather than a necessity forced by crisis. And that’s been a revelation. Living without alcohol has opened up possibilities I hadn’t even considered. I’m present in my relationships, clear-headed in my work, and I genuinely enjoy the life I’m building. And most importantly, I feel a sense of peace and self-acceptance that I never had when I was drinking—even when I thought I was “fine.”
The decision to release the labels and redefine sobriety as something that could be for everyone allowed me to finally escape a cycle that had quietly been dragging me down. And in choosing a life without alcohol, I’ve found a sense of freedom, clarity, and joy that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
Sobriety is for Anyone
If there’s one thing I’d love for others to take away from my journey, it’s that sobriety doesn’t have to come with a label. You don’t have to wait until things are “bad enough” to make the choice to quit. You don’t need to identify as an alcoholic or hit rock bottom. Sobriety is for anyone who wants to experience life with greater clarity, health, and purpose.
I used to think sobriety was only for “those people,” the ones who really needed help. But now I see that sobriety is a path anyone can choose, simply because it leads to a better life. If you’re on the fence, wondering if life might be better without alcohol, I encourage you to let go of the labels and ask yourself: “Is alcohol truly adding value to my life?” The answer might surprise you, just as it did me.
If you would like support in finding freedom from alcohol, check out my group coaching program here
Ellen xoxo
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