Sobriety isn’t just about removing alcohol; it’s about creating a fulfilling and expansive life that feels worth waking up for every single day. Susan Jeffers, in her transformative exercise "Living Your Whole Life" from Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, introduces the concept of the "Whole Life Grid." This tool encourages us to create a life filled with diverse, meaningful activities and connections that nurture us emotionally, mentally, and physically.
When I first encountered this exercise, I was struck by its simplicity and power. In my early days of sobriety, I realised that my life had been incredibly unbalanced. My focus had narrowed entirely around alcohol, and removing it left me with a void I didn’t know how to fill. The Whole Life Grid became a roadmap for rebuilding my life in a way that felt joyful and sustainable.
When paired with Andrew Huberman’s perspective on addiction versus happiness, the power of this exercise becomes even clearer. Huberman states: "Addiction is a progressive narrowing of the things that bring you pleasure. Happiness is a progressive expansion of the things that bring you pleasure. The former emerges passively. The latter takes work." Sobriety offers us the opportunity to break free from the narrow confines of addiction and actively build a grid of pleasure and purpose.
It’s also important to note that in recovery, it’s common to replace one addiction with another. For example, many people replace alcohol use with exercise. While exercise is undeniably a healthier outlet, the risk of injury can present a significant challenge. If our lives aren’t well-rounded and we lose the ability to exercise, we may feel at risk of turning back to alcohol as a coping mechanism. This is why building a "whole" life—one that includes a variety of fulfilling activities—is so vital in sobriety.
What Is the Whole Life Grid?
The Whole Life Grid is a visual tool to assess and balance the various aspects of your life. Imagine dividing your life into nine sections, like a tic-tac-toe grid. Each square represents an area of focus, such as:
Health
Career
Relationships
Personal Growth
Fun and Recreation
Spirituality
Community and Service
Creativity
Finances
The idea is to ensure each area is nurtured and filled with activities or goals that bring you joy, satisfaction, and fulfilment. A grid that’s overly dependent on one or two squares—like career or relationships—can leave you feeling unbalanced and vulnerable. Conversely, a well-rounded grid supports resilience, growth, and long-term happiness.
Why the Whole Life Grid Matters in Sobriety
Addiction narrows our focus and steals our ability to find joy in diverse areas of life. In sobriety, we often need to rebuild our lives from the ground up—exploring what truly brings us joy and creating habits that support our well-being.
Huberman’s quote about addiction highlights the importance of this work. Addiction thrives on passive, short-lived pleasures. Sobriety, by contrast, offers the opportunity for expansive, active engagement with life. The Whole Life Grid helps us:
Reclaim Joy: Discover what truly lights you up beyond alcohol.
Create Balance: Avoid putting all your happiness into one area, reducing the risk of relapse.
Build Resilience: Develop a support system across multiple aspects of life, so when one area falters, others sustain you.
How to Create Your Whole Life Grid
Download the Worksheet
Use the printable grid below to get started.
Fill in the Squares
Label each square with an area of life that feels meaningful to you (e.g., health, personal growth, fun).
Add Activities or Goals
For each square, write down activities, goals, or habits that bring fulfillment. For example:
Health: Daily walks, nutritious meals, yoga classes.
Fun and Recreation: Painting, hiking, or trying a new recipe.
Relationships: Weekly coffee dates, sending a thoughtful text to a friend.
Assess Your Balance
Look at your grid. Are some squares overflowing while others are nearly empty? Identify areas that need more attention.
Take Action
Choose one activity from an underdeveloped square and make a plan to integrate it into your week.
Building an Expansive Life in Sobriety
As you work on your Whole Life Grid, you’re actively expanding the range of things that bring you pleasure—exactly what Huberman describes as the foundation of happiness. Here are some tips for using the grid to support your sobriety:
Start Small: You don’t need to fill every square at once. Focus on one or two areas and build gradually.
Stay Curious: Sobriety is a journey of discovery. Try new activities and see what resonates.
Celebrate Progress: Acknowledge your efforts, even if they feel small. Each step builds your grid.
Expand Your Sobriety Journey
If you’re ready to take your sobriety to the next level, the It Starts with Sobriety program is here to guide you. In this holistic program, we explore tools like the Whole Life Grid, helping you create a balanced, fulfilling life without alcohol. You’ll gain access to:
Self-paced lessons
Group coaching sessions
A supportive, women-only community
Take the leap toward joy, resilience, and lasting happiness. Join the program today and start building your Whole Life Grid.
Additional Resources
Learn more about the Whole Life Grid exercise on Susan Jeffers’ website.
Discover Andrew Huberman’s insights on addiction and happiness on his official site.
Living your whole life in sobriety means creating a life that’s rich, balanced, and deeply fulfilling. Tools like the Whole Life Grid remind us that happiness takes effort but is well worth the work. By actively expanding the areas that bring us joy, we not only protect our sobriety but also create a life we truly love.
How will you start building your Whole Life Grid today?
Ellen xoxo
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