When I first stopped drinking, I never imagined sobriety would become a part of my identity that I’d one day embrace with confidence. In the beginning, I felt so much shame around the idea of not drinking, as if there were something inherently wrong or disappointing about that choice. Living in France, far from my old drinking pals in the UK, I had the option to keep quiet about it. No one here really knew “drinking Ellen,” so why mention it? I could reinvent myself as a non-drinker without too much questioning. For a while, that worked. But as the weeks turned to months, I started feeling a strange discomfort with staying silent. I realised that to fully embrace my sobriety, I’d have to “come out” about it.
It sounds simple, but I was incredibly nervous. I worried about what people would think—would they see me as boring? Judgy? Would they think I’d become some kind of sobriety preacher, pointing fingers at their drinks? This anxiety kept me hesitant, but I also knew that I couldn’t keep avoiding the topic if I wanted to feel authentic. So, I took the plunge and started to share my decision. And, much to my surprise, most people responded with curiosity, respect, and even admiration. They’d say things like, “Wow, I wish I could do that,” or “I’ve been thinking I should cut back too.” Hearing this kind of support gave me the confidence to own my decision a bit more each time.
However, it did take some friends and family a bit longer to get used to the “new” version of me. They’d known the drinking Ellen—the one who was up for a night out or a glass of wine at any occasion. For some, my choice felt like a shift in the dynamic of our relationship, and I could sense that they were adjusting to the change just as much as I was. Thankfully, with time and honest conversations, they started to see how this decision wasn’t about them; it was about me making a choice that supported my well-being.
As I moved further into my sobriety journey, I realized something beautiful—I was reconnecting with my instincts, a sense of intuition that had been clouded over by alcohol for so many years. When we’re sober, we become better at reading situations and people, and I began noticing that not everyone had the same reaction to my sobriety. I started to categorize these reactions, almost like traffic lights. There were the “greens”—those who made me feel safe, genuinely interested in my choice, and supportive without judgment. Then there were the “ambers”—neutral, neither here nor there. And then there were the “reds”—the ones who seemed uncomfortable, defensive, or even hostile. It wasn’t personal; it was usually their own relationship with alcohol showing up. But understanding these “traffic lights” gave me permission to share as much or as little of my story as felt right in each situation.
Now, nearly six years sober, I’m loud and proud about my choice to stop drinking. I’m passionate about opening up the dialogue and showing that sobriety is a positive choice for anybody, not just those who feel they’ve hit a bottom. For me, it’s been a path to freedom, clarity, and deeper self-respect. And every time I share my story, I hope it reminds others that they too can make choices that serve their best selves—even if those choices aren’t “the norm.”
What I’ve learned is that sharing our sobriety stories has the power to change narratives. We’re not “missing out” or “holding back”; we’re simply choosing to live fully and authentically. And that’s a choice I’m incredibly proud of.
If you would like help finding freedom from alcohol, find out more about my online program here.
Ellen xoxo
PS: If you’re ready to wear your sobriety with pride, check out my new alcohol-free apparel range here! Let’s celebrate this journey together!
Comments